Traffic Congestion in Growing Cities: Band 7 Sample Essay

Both questions are addressed fully: the essay identifies economic, health and psychological problems and proposes three measures, and the position — that public transport investment and a congestion charge together are the answer — is clear from the introduction to the conclusion. Main ideas are extended and supported, for example the chain from a longer commute to lost working hours to a "drag on the economy", and the London example gives the charging argument real support. At times, though, the support over-generalises: "many commuters will happily leave their cars at home" is asserted rather than argued, and staggered hours are mentioned only briefly. Developing every idea to the same depth is what Band 8 requires.

Information is logically organised, with one body paragraph for problems and one for solutions, and each has a clear central topic. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, including contrast and reasoning ("However, better transport alone is rarely enough, because…", "For this reason") and clear reference ("this loss of productivity"). There is some over-use of additive signposts — "also", "In addition", "Finally" — and the problems paragraph moves between three separate issues quite quickly. Overall progression is clear throughout, which is solidly Band 7.

There is a sufficient range of vocabulary for flexibility and precision, with well-chosen topic collocations such as "loss of productivity", "exhaust fumes", "congestion charge" and "staggered working hours", and an idiomatic "take a toll on". The writer shows awareness of style and collocation ("a serious drag on the economy", "behind the wheel"). There is an occasional spelling error — "agressive" should be aggressive — which is consistent with Band 7. To reach Band 8 the writer would need less common items used with more precision throughout, rather than concentrated in a few phrases.

A variety of complex structures is used: conditionals ("If buses are frequent…"), relative clauses, a purpose clause ("so that fewer people travel…") and a long subordinate time clause in the second paragraph. Many sentences are error-free, but there are two subject–verb agreement errors in relative clauses — "people who lives near main roads" (live) and "measures that discourages" (discourage). Good control with a few errors like these is the Band 7 descriptor; at Band 8 the majority of sentences must be completely accurate.