Traffic Congestion in Growing Cities: Band 6 Sample Essay

Both parts of the question are addressed: the essay names two problems (lost time and pollution) and three measures (public transport, a fee for driving in the centre, working from home), so it is relevant throughout. However, the parts are covered unevenly. Lost time is supported with a personal example, but the fee is justified in a single sentence and "work from home" is simply listed without any explanation of how it would reduce traffic. The conclusion repeats public transport and silently drops the other measures, so the overall position on what should be done is less clear than it could be — typical of Band 6, where some ideas are insufficiently developed.

The essay is coherent and there is a clear overall progression: introduction, one paragraph on problems, one on solutions, and a conclusion. The linking, however, is mechanical: "Firstly" opens the whole problems paragraph and "Secondly" the whole solutions paragraph, and inside them the writer relies on "The first problem… The second problem…" and "The best solution… Another solution… Also". Referencing is not always clear — "some solutions for this problem" follows a sentence about air pollution, so it is uncertain whether "this problem" means pollution or congestion as a whole. Cohesive devices work, but in the faulty, formulaic way the Band 6 descriptor describes.

The vocabulary is only just adequate for the task, which places this criterion at Band 5. The range is limited and repetitive: "traffic jam" appears four times where congestion or traffic volumes would add variety, and "problem", "solution" and "big" ("a big problem in big cities", "big problems") recur throughout. There are noticeable spelling and word-formation errors — "there cars" (their), "companys" (companies), "polution" (pollution), "feel very stress" (stressed), "breath" (breathe) — and collocation slips such as "think two times" (think twice) and "Many cars stand on the road with the engine on" (sit in traffic with their engines running). Correct topic items like "public transport", "rush hour" and "pay a fee" show the basics are there; to reach Band 6 the writer needs fewer of these errors and at least some attempt at less common vocabulary (exhaust fumes, commuters, congestion charge).

There is a genuine mix of simple and complex forms: a first conditional ("If there are more buses and metro lines, people will…"), a time clause ("When workers arrive late…") and a concessive clause ("although our home is not far from his office"). Errors are frequent, especially subject–verb agreement ("traffic jam cause", used twice, "my father need", "this make"), articles and countability ("Traffic jam is a big problem", "this is good idea"), the possessive ("people health" for people's health), a double comparative ("more better") and "less people" for fewer people. These errors are noticeable but rarely stop the reader understanding, which is the Band 6 level; for Band 7 more of the complex sentences must be error-free.