IELTS Essay Bank · Task 2 Academic · Opinion (agree/disagree)
Education and Jobs vs Prisons: Band 8 Sample Essay
343 words · Topic: Crime & law, Government ·
The question
Some people claim that the most effective way to reduce crime is to give young people better education and job opportunities rather than building more prisons.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Band 8 sample essay
Highlighted = useful vocabularyWhen crime rises, the instinctive political response is to promise tougher sentences and more prison cells. I agree, however, that the most effective long-term strategy is to widen educational and employment opportunities for young people, since this reduces the number who turn to crime in the first place, while prisons should be reserved for those who pose a genuine danger to the public.
The case for prevention rests on who commits crime and why. A large proportion of theft, vandalism and street-level drug dealing is carried out by young men with few qualifications and bleak job prospects. For a sixteen-year-old who has left school and sees no route into legitimate work, a gang offers income, status and belonging; an apprenticeship or a paid traineeship can offer the same things lawfully. Such programmes are not a soft option: they change the calculation by giving a young person something to lose.
Prisons, by contrast, deal with crime only after the damage has been done. They are enormously expensive to run, and their record on rehabilitation is often poor: inmates mix with more experienced offenders, lose contact with their families and leave with a criminal record that shuts them out of the labour market. It is hardly surprising that reoffending rates remain stubbornly high in many countries. Norway, whose prisons concentrate on education and training, is often cited as example of how the opposite approach can work.
This is not an argument for abolishing prisons, some offenders are simply too dangerous to remain in the community. Those convicted of serious violence must be held accountable and kept away from potential victims. The point is that prison should be a last resort rather than the centrepiece of crime policy, and that the money currently spend on new cells would often achieve more in classrooms and training schemes.
In short, building prisons treats the symptoms of crime, whereas investing in young people addresses its causes. A government that wants lasting reductions in crime should prioritise education and jobs, keeping prison places for the minority who genuinely require them.
Word count: 343
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The same question is ready on its practice page, with a Band 8–9 model answer to compare.
Why this is Band 8: criterion by criterion
Task Response
Band 8The prompt is fully addressed with a clear, consistent position: prevention should come first, with prison "reserved for those who pose a genuine danger". Ideas are relevant, well extended and supported — the argument moves from who commits crime, to why a gang is attractive, to how training "changes the calculation" — and the opposing view is acknowledged and answered rather than ignored. The Norway example is used cautiously and appropriately. A fuller treatment of how prevention would be funded and measured would be needed for Band 9.
Coherence and Cohesion
Band 8Information is sequenced logically, and each paragraph has a single, well-defined purpose. Cohesion is managed skilfully through reference and contrast rather than stock connectors ("The case for prevention…", "Prisons, by contrast…", "Such programmes", "The point is that…"), and the conclusion's "symptoms" and "causes" neatly echo the introduction. Paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate. This is a secure Band 8; at Band 9 the cohesion would attract no attention at all.
Lexical Resource
Band 8A wide range of vocabulary is used fluently and precisely: "bleak job prospects", "legitimate work", "not a soft option", "stubbornly high", "the centrepiece of crime policy" and "treats the symptoms". Less common items are used naturally and with good control of collocation, and there are no spelling or word-choice errors. What keeps this below Band 9 is that some phrasing is a little predictable for the topic ("tougher sentences", "held accountable"), so Band 8 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Band 7The range of structures is wide: a fronted time clause ("When crime rises…"), a relative clause with "whose", a semicolon balancing two clauses, a colon introducing an explanation, and a passive with "is often cited". However, there are a few errors that together hold this criterion at Band 7: a comma splice in "This is not an argument for abolishing prisons, some offenders are…" (a semicolon or because is needed), a missing article in "cited as example" (as an example), and the wrong participle in "currently spend" (spent). Most sentences are error-free, but three slips in a short essay go beyond the "very occasional" errors of Band 8.
Useful vocabulary and collocations
- bleak job prospects
- a very poor chance of finding work; stronger and more precise than few jobs.
- change the calculation
- alter the costs and benefits someone weighs up before acting; idiomatic and persuasive.
- shuts them out of the labour market
- prevents them from getting work; a vivid, accurate phrasal-verb collocation.
- reoffending rates
- the proportion of released prisoners who commit another crime; key crime-topic term.
- a last resort
- something used only when every other option has failed; ideal for balanced conclusions.
How this essay could reach Band 9
- 1Proofread for the three grammar slips — the comma splice, the missing article in "as example" and "spend" for spent; removing them alone would lift grammar to Band 8 and the overall score more securely.
- 2Weigh the strongest objection more fully: acknowledge that prevention takes years to show results while prisons protect the public immediately, and explain why the long-term view should still win.
- 3Make the Norway reference do more work by stating what it shows (lower reoffending after education-focused sentences) instead of leaving it as a single closing sentence.
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