IELTS Essay Bank · Task 2 Academic · Opinion (agree/disagree)
Education and Jobs vs Prisons: Band 7 Sample Essay
318 words · Topic: Crime & law, Government ·
The question
Some people claim that the most effective way to reduce crime is to give young people better education and job opportunities rather than building more prisons.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Band 7 sample essay
Highlighted = useful vocabularyGovernments facing rising crime rates often respond by building more prisons, but this approach deals with the consequences of crime rather than its causes. I largely agree that investing in education and employment for young people is a more effective way to reduce crime, although prisons still have an important role for serious offenders.
The main reason for my view is that many young offenders turn to crime because they feel they have no future. Teenagers who drop out of school often lack the skills needed for stable employment, and some of them are drawn into gangs which offers them money and a sense of belonging. Better schools, vocational training and mentoring can give these young people a realistic alternative. In my city, for instance, a youth centre that runs evening courses in mechanics and IT has helped a number of local boys to find apprenticeships instead of spending their evenings on the streets.
Similarly, job opportunities address one of the root causes of crime. When young adults earn a regular income, they have less financial reason to steal and more to lose if they are arrested. Prisons, by contrast, are extremely costly and often fail to rehabilitate inmates. Many prisoners reoffend soon after release, partly because a criminal record makes it even more harder to find work.
Nevertheless, it would be unrealistic to suggest that prisons are unnecessary. Some crimes, such as violent assault or organised drug trafficking, are committed by people who pose a serious threat to the public, and they must be removed from society. Education cannot be the answer in every case, specially for adults who have already chosen a criminal career.
In conclusion, I believe that tackling the causes of crime through education and employment is more effective in the long term than simply expanding the prison system. However, a sensible policy should combine prevention with secure prisons for the most dangerous criminals.
Word count: 318
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The same question is ready on its practice page, with a Band 8–9 model answer to compare.
Why this is Band 7: criterion by criterion
Task Response
Band 7All parts of the prompt are addressed and the position — largely agreeing, while keeping a role for prisons — is clear from the introduction and maintained to the end. Main ideas are extended and supported: the link between leaving school, gangs and crime is explained, and the youth-centre example gives the argument a concrete basis. At times the support over-generalises: "many young offenders turn to crime because they feel they have no future" is asserted rather than shown, and the claim that prisons "often fail to rehabilitate inmates" is stated without explaining why. That lack of depth in places is what separates this from Band 8.
Coherence and Cohesion
Band 7Information is logically organised and each paragraph has a clear central topic: education, employment compared with prison, the limits of prevention, and a conclusion. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately ("Similarly", "by contrast", "Nevertheless", "for instance"), and referencing is generally clear ("these young people", "this approach"). The third paragraph shifts somewhat abruptly from jobs to the cost of prisons within a few sentences, so its focus is less tight than the others. Clear progression with occasional lapses in paragraph focus is Band 7.
Lexical Resource
Band 7The vocabulary is sufficient for flexibility and some precision, with accurate topic collocations such as "root causes of crime", "pose a serious threat", "vocational training" and "reoffend". The writer uses less common items with awareness of style ("drawn into gangs", "a criminal career"). There is an occasional error in word choice — "specially" should be especially — and some reliance on familiar words such as "crime" and "prisons", but this does not affect clarity. This is a solid Band 7 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Band 7A variety of complex structures is used, including participle phrases ("Governments facing rising crime rates"), relative clauses, passives ("are committed by people who…") and a concessive clause with "although". Most sentences are error-free. There are a few errors: an agreement slip in "gangs which offers" (offer), and a double comparative in "even more harder" (even harder). Good control with a few errors matches the Band 7 descriptor.
Useful vocabulary and collocations
- drop out of school
- to leave school before finishing; more precise than leave school.
- a realistic alternative
- a practical, achievable other option; useful when proposing solutions.
- root causes of crime
- the deep, underlying reasons for crime; a key phrase for crime and social-policy essays.
- reoffend
- to commit another crime after being punished; noun form reoffending.
- pose a serious threat
- strong verb + noun collocation; also pose a risk to the public.
- tackling the causes
- dealing with the reasons behind a problem rather than its effects.
How this essay could reach Band 8
- 1Explain the mechanism behind each general claim — for example, why prison makes reoffending more likely (loss of work, contact with other criminals, a record that employers see) — rather than simply stating it.
- 2Keep each paragraph on one idea: give the cost and failure of prisons its own developed paragraph instead of adding it to the end of the employment paragraph.
- 3Remove the small accuracy slips ("gangs which offers", "even more harder", "specially"); at Band 8 the majority of sentences must be completely error-free.
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