Studying for a Degree Abroad: Band 6 Sample Essay

The essay answers the question directly and the position — the advantages are greater — is stated in the introduction and repeated in the conclusion. Relevant advantages (quality of education, language, independence) and disadvantages (cost, loneliness) are presented, so all parts are addressed. However, the essay never explains why the advantages outweigh these problems: the cost argument is left unanswered, and the conclusion simply asserts that "education and experience is important". The final sentence ("Students should prepare good before they go") introduces a new idea without development, which is typical of the unclear conclusions found at Band 6.

The essay is organised clearly — introduction, advantages, disadvantages, conclusion — and there is a clear overall progression. Linking is mechanical, however: "The first advantage", "The second advantage", "Also", "However", "The biggest problem", "Another problem" and "To sum up" signal each point in a formulaic way. Referencing is sometimes unclear: in the second sentence, "They think it is better" does not make clear what "it" is better than. The cousin example is placed after the independence point but seems to support the whole paragraph, so the link between example and idea is loose — cohesion is effective but faulty in places, which is Band 6.

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with relevant topic items such as "living costs", "feel homesick" and "manage their money". There is some attempt at less common vocabulary, but with inaccuracy: "the advantages … are more than the disadvantages" should be outweigh, "adapt with" should be adapt to, and "their marks become low" is an unnatural collocation (their grades suffer). There is noticeable repetition of "advantage", "problem" and "culture". These errors do not impede communication, which keeps the criterion at Band 6.

There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, including concessive and reason clauses ("although there are some problems", "because they use it every day") and a time clause ("when he returned"). Errors are frequent: articles ("countries like UK, USA" for the UK, the USA; "study in university" for at university), countability ("modern equipments"), determiners ("this universities" for these; "English or other language" for another language), a reflexive pronoun ("by themself" for themselves), subject–verb agreement ("the advantages is", "education and experience is") and adjective/adverb confusion ("prepare good" for well). These errors are noticeable but rarely reduce communication, so Band 6 is appropriate.