IELTS Essay Bank · Task 2 Academic · Positive or negative
Automation of Factory Work: Band 6 Sample Essay
290 words · Topic: Technology, Work & careers ·
The question
Robots and automated machines are carrying out an increasing share of the work in factories that was once done by human hands.
Is this increasing automation of manufacturing a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Band 6 sample essay
Highlighted = useful vocabularyToday, many factories use robots and machines to do the work that people did in the past. Some people think this is a good thing but other people think it is bad. In my opinion, the automation of factories is more positive than negative, although it has some problems.
Firstly, robots can work more faster than humans and they don't need to rest. A robot can work 24 hours without stop, so the factory can make more products in less time. For example, in car factories in Japan most of the work on the production line is done by robots, and the cars are cheap and good quality. Also robots don't do a mistake like tired workers, so the products are better. This is a big benifit for the companies and also for the customers because the price become lower.
Secondly, some jobs in factories are very dangerous for people. For example, workers who use chemicals or lift heavy things can have serious injuries. If a machine do these jobs, the workers will be more safe and healthy. I think this is the most important good point of robots.
On the other hand, automation have a negative side. Many workers lose their jobs because the company don't need them anymore. In my country, a lot of people in small towns work in factories, and if the factory buy robots they will become unemployment. It is difficult for them to find a new job, especially for older people who don't have good education.
In conclusion, I believe that automation is positive development because robots are faster and safer than people. However the government should help the workers who lose there jobs, for example they can learn new skills in a college.
Word count: 290
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Why this is Band 6: criterion by criterion
Task Response
Band 6The essay answers the question and gives a clear position ("more positive than negative"), which is maintained to the end. The main ideas — speed, product quality, safety and job losses — are relevant, but they are not all developed equally: the safety paragraph is only three sentences, and the idea that the government should help workers appears for the first time in the conclusion without any explanation of how retraining would work. The Japan example is relevant but stays general ("cheap and good quality"). All parts are addressed with some ideas insufficiently developed, which is the Band 6 description.
Coherence and Cohesion
Band 6The essay is organised clearly, with an introduction, two paragraphs on the positive side, one on the negative side and a conclusion, so there is a clear overall progression. However, the linking is mechanical: each paragraph begins with a stock connector ("Firstly", "Secondly", "On the other hand", "In conclusion"), and "Also" and "For example" are repeated. Referencing is sometimes unclear — in "if the factory buy robots they will become unemployment", "they" could refer to the robots or the workers. Cohesion is effective overall but faulty in places, so Band 6 is appropriate.
Lexical Resource
Band 5The vocabulary is only just adequate for the task, and this is the weakest criterion. The writer relies on very general words that are repeated many times ("robots", "workers", "good", "people"), and the few topic phrases, such as "production line" and "serious injuries", are not supported by a wider range. There are several noticeable errors in word choice, word formation and spelling: "do a mistake" (make a mistake), "become unemployment" (become unemployed), "benifit" (benefit) and "there jobs" (their jobs). The phrase "good point of robots" is also an imprecise choice where advantage is needed. These errors are frequent enough to cause the reader some difficulty, which places Lexical Resource at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Band 6There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditionals ("If a machine do these jobs…") and relative clauses ("workers who use chemicals"). However, there are frequent errors in subject–verb agreement ("a machine do", "automation have", "the company don't", "the factory buy", "the price become"), a double comparative ("more faster"), an incorrect comparative form ("more safe" for safer) and missing articles ("automation is positive development", "without stop"). The meaning is almost always clear despite these errors, so grammar stays at Band 6.
Useful vocabulary and collocations
- production line
- accurate topic term for a factory; at Band 7+ try automated assembly lines.
- serious injuries
- correct collocation; you could extend it to workplace injuries or hazardous working conditions.
- lose their jobs
- clear and correct; a less common alternative is are made redundant.
- find a new job
- correct but very basic; find alternative employment shows more range.
- learn new skills
- useful phrase; the precise topic term is retraining or reskilling.
How this essay could reach Band 7
- 1Build a wider vocabulary for this topic and use it accurately: make a mistake, become unemployed, productivity, redundancy, retraining — the word-formation and collocation errors are what pull this essay down most.
- 2Develop the job-losses paragraph and move the government solution out of the conclusion into the body, explaining how retraining would actually help a factory worker find new work.
- 3Check every present-simple verb with a singular subject (a machine does, automation has, the company doesn't), since these agreement errors appear in almost every paragraph.
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